Regardless of where you are in your pregnancy, adoption is always an option. However, like abortion or parenting, it’s not a decision you can make lightly. It’s a difficult choice that requires as much information as possible. If you know you can’t parent at this time but are uncomfortable with the idea of an abortion, adoption may be the right choice for you.
Making an Adoption Plan
Unfortunately, everyone has heard past adoption horror stories. Birth moms sent away and forced to “give up” their babies. Or, ruthless doctors who tell women their babies died, while in fact, the baby is “sold” to an unknowing couple. Adoption today is entirely different. Today, the birth mother (and father, if he’s involved) make all the decisions. You are in the driver’s seat. It’s a process that can last months as you decide what you are looking for in an adoptive family, but no one can force you to “give up” or take your child from you. Remember, you are completely in charge of your adoption plan.
Types of Adoptions
There are varying degrees of adoption plans. You can plan your adoption through a private adoption attorney or an agency. In any case, you choose who will adopt your child and how much contact you would like to have.
- Open adoption means you and the adoptive family will know each other’s names, addresses, and additional contact information. You can set up face-to-face meetings, phone calls, and email each other. Adoptive families submit a bio with photos and information for you to review. Once you’ve chosen a family, you’ll have the option to meet them even before giving birth. Afterward, if you and the adoptive family agree, you’ll have the opportunity to be a part of the child’s life and see them regularly.
- In a closed adoption, you remain completely anonymous. You’ll still be the one choosing the adoptive family, but you’ll have no interaction with them before or after the birth. No identifying information is given to either the birth family or the adoptive family. There is complete privacy.
- Very few adoptions are completely closed today. Research has shown there are many psychological benefits for all parties to have a semi-open or open adoption. A semi-open adoption means the communication you do have will be through a third-party, like your lawyer or the agency. You choose how much information and contact you would like to share and receive.
Birth mothers and fathers have very personal reasons for choosing adoption. At the Center, we have adoption information we can review with you, as well as adoption agency referrals. Also, there are several local and national groups you can join to read comments and ask questions.